There is no way, I could have gotten through this whole motherhood journey without some incredibly special ladies in my life!
Motherhood can be a tough gig, and having the support of other women going through the same thing at the same time, has definitely been my saviour through it all. I value my girlfriends more than they probably realise. As important as family is, I couldn’t have gotten through these past 3.5 years without the help of some very special friendships…
When I fell pregnant with Harper, I was so lucky to have a community of people around me who knew other women who were also pregnant at the same time. Somehow, we managed to form the most amazing mothers group of about 11 of us… We were all literally due around a couple of weeks of each other. And we were all first-time mums. We had a watsapp group which we used to death. No one had any shame in asking anything. No question was a stupid question, no question was too gruesome, we all overshared and we all supported each other through everything. From poo explosions, to cracked nipples, to the vanishing sex life with our hubbies, sore vaginas, crying babies, sleep deprivation, what to feed our kids, how to deal with teething, toilet training, etc etc. We literally discussed everything. Gosh I remember being on messages with one of the girls at 3am and she told me she’d done three loads of washing since midnight as it was the only thing that would keep her new born to sleep! 3.5 years on and we are all still close. It’s so special. I couldn’t have done it without you ladies! A very special mention to Tess who very sadly passed away when Blake was about 8 months old. The first photo below was taken at Tessa’s house the week before she passed. She hosted us all for mothers group and none of us even knew she was sick. Tess, we all miss you dearly. We love watching Blake grow up into the gorgeous boy he is today and I love that he will be going to the same kinder as Harper.
When I fell pregnant with Paxton, as bad as it sounds, I decided I didn’t really have the time for new friends. Life was busy as it is. As luck would have it, about seven of my absolute closest girlfriends, happened to be pregnant within about four months of each other. It was amazing. Organically we just formed a little support team with the friendships we already had, rather than a proper mothers group like I had with Harper. The same went as above, we shared everything and anything with each other. The support is incredible. There really is nothing better than seeing your kids and your best friends’ kids, playing together and having the best time. In saying that, it’s also pretty funny to see them fight and argue, as they learn to share, take turns and just figure out how life works. But being able to talk it all through with your closest friends is the best.
If you are feeling alone and isolated during this journey, please go and speak to your maternal health nurse, there are often community mother’s groups that you could join and I am sure they will point you in the right direction. Even attending preggie and post-natal Pilates, helped me meet other people going through the same thing. Or attending activities like music classes or the library reading sessions. There are so many places and opportunities around to meet other women who are going through the same things, don’t do it alone!
As I write this article, I feel super sentimental reflecting on these friendships. The older we get, the less time there is for bullshit friendships. Spend more time on the ones that really count. Surround yourself with people you love, people that love you, people that make you feel good, people you can be honest with and people you can laugh with.
Motherhood – I really couldn’t have done it without you girls! You all know who you are!