What type of mum are you? And are you happy and content with what you do?
I really wish I didn’t care about what others thought. Some days I don’t, but some days I really do care and I wish I could just be happy and content in what I am doing. In today’s society, it is hard not to feel like you’re being judged and compared to others.
Working mums, get judged because people think you don’t spend enough time with your kids. Stay at home mums, get judged because people think you’re lazy for not working! It feels like you can’t win!
There really should be nothing shameful about either.
Being a working mum is a hard gig! You’re flat out all day at work and then expected to come home and put your mum hat back on! Being a stay at home mum is bloody hard too. You’re dealing with kids all day long. Washing, cooking, cleaning, tantrums, whinging, no privacy, etc etc.
I fall somewhere in between the working mum and stay at home mum. I would say I am more a stay at home mum who does a little dog walking and blogging on the side. Even though I have this in between, I still totally suffer guilt or that feeling of being judged. I feel like I need to be justifying myself to others and I am constantly thinking am I doing the right thing for our family and important for myself. Harper is at Kinder 4.5 days and Paxton is at crèche two days. With kinder drop off at 8.30am and pick up 3pm (but 12pm on Fridays), it makes it very hard to fit in a “proper job”.
If I did go down that path and decide to get a proper job, we would need to pay for a nanny or before and after care for the kids and I’d miss that special time with them. Plus, if I were paying for a nanny or before/after care, would I actually be making enough extra money to cover it? This is the internal struggle that I have at quite a lot, but thankfully not every day. Some days I just enjoy the awesome combination that I have and appreciate how lucky I am to have so much time with my kids.
Is this all in my head or do you guys feel it too?
When can we just get to a point in life of feeling happy and content in our own skin and with what we are doing?
We all need to change our way of thinking (and yes, I’m speaking to myself here too) …
Let’s try and forget about what others think! Let’s focus on not judging, not caring so much, but rather focusing on having QUALITY TIME with our kids. Worry less about the quantity of time and rather make the time we have with them really count. We all know what type of mum we are behind closed doors and that’s what counts, right? Maybe we should stop thinking of ourselves as “stay at home mums” or “working mums” and rather see ourselves as “fun mums” or “present mums” or mums who spend quality time with our kids. Because ultimately being present for your kids and being in the moment is what really counts at the end of the day. Sing and dance with them and be silly. Laugh. Read to them. Love them and make sure they know how loved they are, every single day. Nurture them, teach them right from wrong and hug them more.
Most importantly, whatever type of mum you are, don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s a tough job anyway you look at it, which is why it’s so critical to look after yourself too. So make sure that you are constantly taking some time out and giving yourself a bit of that “me time”. Honestly that’s how I get through it, that’s how I am the best mum I can be.
Let’s all try our hardest to stop caring about what others think and just strive to be the best mums we can be, because in the end of the day, it really is the best job in the world!!
Who’s with me on this?