As I sit here typing this, I am 16 weeks postpartum from baby #3. I know that I am an absolutely superhuman for growing three little babies inside my body, in fact, I am so proud of what my body has gone through. I also know that I need to be kind to myself, BUT I just don’t like what I see in the mirror at the moment. I am feeling huge (for me) and most of my pre-baby clothes still don’t fit! I feel like I am at the biggest I have ever been weight wise. Plus for some reason, I feel this pressure from society (maybe it’s because of social media) to already be back at my old weight. It’s such an internal battle I have and I am sure there are plenty others feeling the same way…
It’s such a head fu*$k this ‘in the middle’ stage. I am breastfeeding so I am starving ALL the time. In general, I am a healthy person. I try to eat nutritious meals and have healthy snacks. I know what’s good for me and what’s not and I know that I need to stay healthy to have the energy for my little people and to breastfeed. I do a big long walk most days with the dog and I am back at Pilates once a week. But, because I am hungry all the time, I am eating more frequently and larger meals than I probably should be. And I am definitely still indulging in too much chocolate! Which is why when I look down at my stomach I am so unhappy with it. I guess what it comes down to is me trying to switch my mindset and take a bit of pressure off myself. Really try and enjoy the ‘new baby phase’ and when I’m done breastfeeding, then focus on my health and fitness more…
After I had Paxton, it took me a solid 18-24 months to really look and feel good again. My hormones were crazy and it wasn’t easy, but I was super disciplined. In fact, I even wrote an article for you guys back then with my top ten tips for how to lose that post-baby weight. To tell you the truth, despite my internal battle at the moment, at just 16 weeks post having Brooks, I know I am not ready for that type of discipline just yet.
The other issue with feeling like this, is knowing how influenced my children are with what comes out of my mouth. Harper, my 4.5 year old, especially listens to everything I say and copies me. I am so aware of never shaming my body in front of her. Never making comments when I try my old jeans on that I can’t get past my knees because of the weight I’ve put on. On the odd occasion, if one of them jiggles my tummy, I always say things like – “I made you guys, I grew you in here. How beautiful is that? I am the luckiest mummy because I got to grow you guys inside my tummy.” My big emphasis too for my kids is making them realise that beauty comes from within! Yes it’s important to be healthy. But how we look does not define our inner beauty!
So where am I going with all of this? Really I just want you mamas to know that you’re not alone with this battle of wanting to just enjoy your new baby and appreciate the miracle of what your body has just done, but then looking in the mirror and not being happy with what you see. It’s normal, we need to look after ourselves and be kind to ourselves. Everything in moderation and in time, we will get back there. When I am ready to get back there too, I will literally follow step by step what I did last time. It was hard, but the results were worth it and are definitely achievable again.
Keep going and being the best mums you can be!