Opening up about conceiving is a big deal for women. I completely understand why the natural tendency is to keep it all to yourself. However, after going through two very different experiences trying to conceive my two children, I can now see the positive power that sharing can provide not only to myself but to others going through the same thing. I had such a great response from my first conception story, that I have decided to share my second one with you too. I can’t begin to tell you how nervous I felt when I pressed ‘publish’ on that first post. It’s scary being so vulnerable. But given the number of private messages I received after posting it, all those nerves and fears disappeared as I’m sure sharing my story has helped others through their journey and made them feel a little less lonely or isolated.
My Conception Story, round two, couldn’t have been more different if we tried.
So, here’s how it went down…
Harper was eight months old when I decided to stop breastfeeding. Knowing that it took my body 13 months to fall pregnant first time round (with the help of Clomid, a drug that made me ovulate), my decision to stop breastfeeding was not only based on me getting some freedom back but also to try and get ready to try for baby #2. I really wanted a natural period this time. As mentioned in my first conception post- I really hadn’t had a ‘real’ period since age 14!!
As soon as I stopped breastfeeding, I decided to go see a Chinese doctor. She put me on some herbs, we did acupuncture once a week and she made me light some weird thing every night over my uterus (don’t even ask?!). I really wanted to see if I could heal my body through diet, exercise and natural means this time, before turning to the Clomid medication. In saying this, I also wanted to start trying to conceive again as soon as possible because I had no clue how long it was going to take.
I loved how close my brother and I were growing up (and still are) so I really wanted to try and have my kids close together too (we are 18 months apart). Now that Harper was eight months old, if I magically were to fall pregnant first go, the gap would also be 18 months which was the smallest gap we were mentally prepared for (since Harper cried non-stop for the first 12 weeks of her life, we were a little nervous about having a new born again). However, in our minds, there was no chance of this happening and we were all ready for another long journey… So, Jase and I started trying again and just having fun with it.
Although I was seeing a Chinese doctor, I had also booked in an appointment to see my OB again a month later (when Harper was nine months). I think I may have been due for a pap smear, plus I wanted to chat to him about going back on Clomid if my period hadn’t come yet and if he thought it was a good idea to have my tubes flushed again.
My Chinese doctor had told me that it is dangerous to start taking Clomid if you are pregnant. So, she strongly advised me to take a pregnancy test before going back to my OB on the very odd chance I was pregnant. I laughed when she said that to me because I just thought that was impossible. But obviously, I listened. Jase went to work the day before my appointment and I very nervously but not optimistically took a pregnancy test……………………………………………………………………….
It was positive!!!
I nearly collapsed!! What a bloody miracle!
Who knows if it was the help of the Chinese doctor, the fact that I’d stopped breastfeeding, the fact that my body knew what to do. I have no clue. I didn’t even get a period after having Harper!! I was shocked, scared, nervous but SO over the moon that we didn’t need to go down the same path that we did first time round. I guess there was also a bit more of a sense of calm this time round as I knew my body could do it. First time round, all I could think of, was what if I can never have babies, what if my body just can’t do it. But after having a healthy pregnancy and labour with Harper, I knew it was all possible. I just didn’t know how long it was going to take.
For all of you who are on your conception journey at the moment, just know that you are not alone. If it’s taking longer than you would have hoped, if you’re feeling worried or concerned about anything, please go and speak to your GP, OB or Gyno. If you feel you have entered a bit of a dark place, please try and find a friend, a family member, or a professional who you can talk to. As mentioned in my first conception post, I know this is far easier said than done as I was totally this person first time round, but I do truly believe that the more you stress about it, the more it consumes you, the harder it is to fall pregnant. So please try to relax and enjoy the intimacy with your partner.
Please feel free to leave a comment or send me a direct email. I’d love to help and support you if I can. And for those of you who live in Melbourne, Australia, and would like the name of the Chinese doctor I saw, also feel free to send me an email.
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