I can’t even begin to tell you guys how I felt when trying to decide when to end my breastfeeding journey with my last baby. Brooklyn is now 13 months old and we stopped about a month ago. It was honestly such a tough decision for me. Knowing he was my last baby made it such an emotional time.
I know how fortunate I am to have been able to breastfeed all three of my kids as I know some people can’t. And like most, I can’t say breastfeeding was smooth sailing the whole way through. I experienced cracked nipples, blisters, thrush, engorgement, blocked ducts, oh the excruciating pain was torturous at times – especially with my first when I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. But all in all (after getting some professional help) I loved feeding my kids, it’s just incredible to think what our bodies can do. So, the thought of doing it for the very last time, was a very emotional time. So many feelings. Should I, shouldn’t I? When? Why? I will never get this time back… But I also knew that for my own sanity, it was time to stop.
I am a sentimental person at the best of times. But given Brooklyn is my third child, I also very much need some quality “me time”, something, I personally found quite hard to prioritise as a mum of three. So as I’m sure you can tell, this was a really hard decision and I was very torn.
When I finally made the call that it was time, I was still feeding three times a day so I had to be careful with the weaning process as you hear of so many women ending up with mastitis from doing it too quickly. So I called my amazing lactation consultant, Susan Shaw, to get her advice. She provided me with some great information which I’m excited to be able to share with you guys.
Six tips to help with the weaning process:
- Wean slowly, the faster the weaning process the more abrupt the shift in hormone levels, and the more likely you will experience adverse effects. Dropping no more than one feed per week is gentler on both mother and baby.
- Decide which feed you would like to remove first and see how you feel when the usual feed is due, if ok leave alone if uncomfortable express for comfort (with pump or hands), just to remove fullness. The less milk you remove, the quicker your body will realize it doesn’t need to produce.
- Try and avoid too much heat (especially in shower), as this can help promote milk production when you are trying to slow it down.
- Use cold instead (ice packs, cold/frozen cabbage leaves).
- Mothers can use sage in tea, tablet or tincture form to help reduce supply. Parsley and peppermint can also help.
- Use pain relief and anti-inflammatory’s like Panadol &/or Nurofen to help manage the discomfort.
For me dropping from three feeds to two feeds, my hormones were going wild. I was literally starting to feel overwhelmingly depressed, out of it and quite dazed.
So I asked Susan if this was normal…
“It is certainly not unusual for mothers to feel sad, tearful, irritable, mood swings, anxious or mildly depressed during or after weaning breastfeeding. These feelings usually don’t last beyond a few weeks, although some mothers may experience more severe symptoms and will need to seek support from a health professional, especially if these feelings are impacting your quality of life or continuing after a couple of weeks. The GP may check your bloods for all the mood related hormones. We know that hormones Prolactin and Oxytocin levels drop during the weaning process. Prolactin is required for milk production and helps the mother feel calm and relaxed while breastfeeding, while Oxytocin is responsible for the let-down. So, it makes sense that a sudden drop and a shift in these hormone levels will have an impact on mothers’ emotions whist weaning. Unfortunately, even for mothers who feel ready to wean and wean gradually, there may still be some sense of loss and sadness. Weaning marks the end of a physical unity with your child, the close of a very special journey in your lives.”
Tips for how to deal with these big emotions:
- Keep your lines of communication open with your partner and express how you are feeling.
- Try and get regular exercise (preferably outdoors as Vit D from sunlight can help boost your mood, energy and immune system) which can help release pleasure hormones giving you a natural high!
- Use Positive Affirmations.
- Try regulate your sleep and wake times – Regular habits help regulate your hormones.
- Regulating hormones requires good fats in your diet. With enough quality protein and fat in your diet, you won’t feel the need for too much caffeine.
- Spend some time having fun, have regular date nights with your partner. Cultivate your relationships. Stimulate oxytocin in your body by hugging, kissing and cuddling on a regular basis.
- We must remember the strong need of a mother’s presence continues and we learn to express it in other ways other than breastfeeding.
- Lastly, HANG IN THERE and FEEL BLESSED FOR THE SPECIAL BREASTFEDING RELATIONSHIP YOU WERE FORTUNATE TO HAVE.
Before I knew it, the day had come, that I had decided it was going to be my last feed. We were about to go on holidays, and I wanted to know that my boobs were going to settle and not cause me any issues whilst on our family getaway. Ohhhh that last feed I ever did, I held onto for dear life. I locked the big kids out. We took our time. I hugged Brooklyn so tight after it. It was a special moment. I was ready to stop – but was I really?
In the weeks and month after I felt some serious highs and serious lows. I blame the lows on the hormones and the sentimental part of it. Selfishly the highs were from a feeling of being liberated and free again. As sad as I was in the lead up, it was kind of a relief once it was done. My body is mine again. And I could leave my kids for a whole day without a sense of guilt or needing to pump for half the day. I am so glad I did it for as long as I did. I have no regrets, I loved it! But now I am done!
Mel xox