5 things I wish every dog guardian knew

After years of working with families, dogs, and the messy, beautiful reality of living with both, there are five things I wish every dog guardian knew: dogs are a different species with their own needs, dogs communicate constantly through body language, dogs deserve to have their space and consent respected, every breed has needs that must be met, and positive reinforcement teaches far more than punishment, force or fear ever will.

None of this is about being a perfect dog guardian. It’s about seeing the dog in front of you, understanding who they are, and giving them the best life you possibly can.

The five things, at a glance

Remember that dogs are dogs. They are a different species living in our human world. Let’s understand who they are and what they need.
Learn to understand dog body language. Dogs communicate with us all the time, and most of it is silent.
Respect your dog’s feelings, space and consent. Dogs should feel safe to move away, say no and communicate honestly. Tolerance is not the goal.
Meet your dog’s breed-specific needs. Give them appropriate outlets for the natural behaviours they were bred to do.
Use positive reinforcement properly. Teach your dog what to do instead of punishing what you don’t want.

1. Why does it matter that dogs are dogs?

Dogs are a different species living in our human world. We ask them to share our homes, our routines, our furniture and our children, and then we are surprised when they behave like dogs.

Instead of expecting them to think like us, let’s understand who they are, what they need, and set them up to thrive.

That shift changes everything. When you stop asking “why is my dog being naughty” and start asking “what is my dog trying to tell me, and what do they need right now”, the answers get a lot clearer and the solutions get a lot simpler.

This matters even more in a busy family home. A dog living with a crawling baby, a loud toddler or three kids and their friends is being asked to cope with a great deal. Seeing them as a dog, rather than as a small furry person who should know better, is the first step to keeping everyone safe and happy.

2. How do I learn to read dog body language?

Your dog is communicating with you all day long. Most of it is silent.

The more we learn to recognise their whispers, the less likely they are to feel they need to shout.

Dogs rarely go from calm to a bite with nothing in between. There is almost always a conversation happening first, and it usually starts very quietly. When those early, subtle signals are missed or ignored over and over, dogs learn that whispering does not work. That is when the louder signals show up.

This is why body language matters so much. The most recent Australian Institute of Health and Welfare figures show 9,920 hospitalisations from dog bites in Australia in 2024 to 2025, a rate of 36.2 per 100,000 people, and dog bite hospitalisations have risen steadily over the past decade. Learning to hear the whispers is one of the most practical things any of us can do about that.

Whispers can look like:

Turning the head or body away
Lip licking when there is no food around
Yawning when they are not tired
Freezing or going still
Moving away, or trying to leave
Showing the whites of the eyes

Shouts can look like:

Stiffening and hard staring
Growling
Snapping or air snapping
Biting

A growl is not bad behaviour. A growl is information, and it is a dog being incredibly polite about how uncomfortable they are. Punishing a growl does not remove the feeling underneath it, it just removes the warning. We have written about this in detail here: My dog is growling at my child: what it means and what to do next.

For a closer look at the signals themselves, including photos of our own dog Cooper, have a read of how dogs communicate and our dogs are always communicating, let’s learn to understand them and help prevent dog bites to children.

Learning to read these signals is the single most useful skill a dog guardian can build, and it is especially important in homes with babies and children who cannot read them yet.

3. What does it mean to respect your dog’s feelings, space and consent?

Dogs deserve bodily autonomy too.

They should feel safe to move away, to say no, and to communicate honestly, without being forced to tolerate situations that make them uncomfortable.

Tolerance is not the goal. A dog who lies still while a toddler climbs on them is not necessarily a dog who is enjoying it, or even coping with it. Very often that dog is shut down, waiting for it to be over, and hoping someone notices. We have written more about this here: good intentions aren’t enough, we want dogs to enjoy their encounters with children rather than just tolerating them.

Respecting consent in everyday life looks like:

Letting your dog choose whether to approach, rather than invading their space for a cuddle or physical affection
Listening when your dog communicates that they are uncomfortable or need space, even when those signals are subtle
Giving them a space that is genuinely theirs, where nobody follows or disturbs them
Checking in during patting by pausing to see if they ask for more
Never using your dog as a photo prop, a pillow or a pretend horse
Teaching children that when a dog moves away, the interaction is finished

Once you can see how your dog is feeling, the next step is speaking up for them. Here is more on advocating for your dog. And once that understanding is in place, there are some lovely ways to bring your child and dog together safely. Have a look at these fun tools to help build bonds between children and dogs.

What is the difference between tolerance and consent?

What we often say	What might actually be happening	What consent looks like
“He lets the kids hug him”	The dog is still and tense, with nowhere to go	The dog is free to leave, and chooses to stay
“She loves being patted by everyone”	The dog turns away, licks their lips, leans back	The dog moves in, leans in, and comes back for more
“He is so good with the baby”	The dog is stuck between the baby and the wall	The dog has an exit route and a space of their own
“She never minds having her food touched”	The dog freezes over the bowl and eats faster	The dog eats undisturbed, behind a gate or closed door
“He puts up with the toddler”	The dog is coping, not enjoying	The dog is supervised, separated when needed, and genuinely relaxed

4. What are breed-specific needs and why do they matter?

Every breed was developed for a purpose, and that purpose does not disappear because they live on your couch.

Herding dogs like Border Collies, Kelpies and Australian Cattle Dogs were bred to move and control livestock, so they may be highly sensitive to movement and naturally want to chase, stalk or control it. Terriers were bred to hunt, chase and dig, often with determination and persistence, and you will see it in Jack Russells, Fox Terriers and Staffordshire Bull Terriers. Scent hounds were bred to follow their noses for hours, so sniffing and following scent can be incredibly important to a Beagle, a Dachshund or a Bloodhound. Sighthounds, among them Greyhounds and Whippets, were bred to spot and chase moving prey and can be particularly sensitive to fast movement.

Gundogs like Labradors, Golden Retrievers and Cocker Spaniels were bred to work closely alongside people to find, flush and retrieve. Many are naturally social, people-focused and love carrying things in their mouths. Guardian and protection breeds, such as German Shepherds and Rottweilers were bred to notice and respond to potential threats, so being watchful, alert or wary of unfamiliar people can be part of who they are. Working breeds were bred to perform demanding jobs requiring strength, stamina, independence or problem-solving, with breeds like Huskies and Boxers having their own distinct working histories.

And many toy and companion breeds, including Cavaliers, Pugs and Maltese, were bred specifically to be close to their people, so companionship and connection can be especially important to them.

Those instincts are not optional extras. They are part of who our dogs are. Understanding what your dog was originally bred to do can help you understand their behaviour, meet their needs and give them appropriate outlets for the things that come naturally to them.

If your dog is a crossbreed or a rescue of unknown background, this still applies. A Cavoodle carries both Poodle and Cavalier in them, an Oodle mix may have plenty of gundog in there, and a mixed-breed dog will often show you their natural instincts long before a DNA test does. Watch what your dog is drawn to. If they sniff everything, give them sniffing. If they chase everything that moves, give them something appropriate to chase.

When we meet those natural needs through enrichment, exercise and appropriate outlets, behaviour problems often become much smaller.

A dog who is chasing the kids around the yard, digging up the garden, barking at every noise or dismantling the couch is very often a dog whose needs are not being met in a way that works for them. Give those natural behaviours appropriate outlets, and you’re much less likely to see them turning up in ways you don’t want.

Practical outlets by need:

Chasing and herding: structured fetch, chase games with rules, tug with rules
Digging: a sandpit or dig box that is theirs
Sniffing and searching: scatter feeding, snuffle mats, scent games, long decompression sniff walks
Chewing and shredding: appropriate long-lasting chews, LickiMats, cardboard, food puzzles
Watching and guarding: managed views, calm outlets and help to switch off

5. How do you use positive reinforcement properly?

Teach your dog what to do, instead of punishing what you do not want.

Kind, force free training builds trust, confidence and a dog who keeps learning for life.

Positive reinforcement means adding something the dog values straight after a behaviour you want, so the dog is more likely to do it again. Done properly, it is not bribery and it is not permissiveness. It is clear, consistent teaching.

Positive reinforcement isn’t just about being kind. It’s about helping dogs learn in a way that builds trust, confidence and a strong relationship with us.

Why not just punish the behaviour you don’t want?

Punishment, force and fear may stop a behaviour in the moment, but stopping a behaviour doesn’t necessarily change the reason it was happening in the first place. It also doesn’t teach your dog what you would like them to do instead.

When we punish warning signs or behaviours without addressing what is underneath them, we risk suppressing important communication while the fear, frustration or discomfort remains. Over time, this can contribute to increased stress, fear, anxiety and mistrust, a bit like putting a lid on a pressure cooker without turning down the heat.

Instead, ask: Why is my dog doing this? What are they communicating or trying to achieve? And what would I like them to do instead?

Then we can meet the need where appropriate, change the environment, and use positive reinforcement to teach and reward the behaviour we do want.

What are the most common positive reinforcement mistakes?

The most common mistakes are simple to fix:

Rewarding too late. Your dog needs to know exactly which behaviour earned the treat, and by the time you have dug around in your pocket, that moment may have passed. This is where marker training comes in. You have probably heard of clicker training, and marker training is the same concept, except you do not need to carry a clicker around with you. I like to use a “Yes!” marker, because your voice is always with you. That word tells your dog that what they did right then, is what you are asking for, and it gets them a treat. It acts as a bridge, giving you time to get the reward to your dog for a job well done.
Not fading out the food lure. Using food to lure your dog into a new behaviour can be a great way to teach them what you want, but the lure needs to be faded out once your dog understands the behaviour. Otherwise, your dog can learn that seeing the food is part of the cue and may only perform the behaviour when there is a treat in your hand. The goal is to stop showing them the food first, ask for the behaviour, and then reward them afterwards. The food becomes the reward, not the bribe.
Using a reward the dog does not actually value. Value is decided by the dog, not by you. Some dogs will work all day for a tug toy or a ball, and others could not care less about toys but will do anything for food. Watch your own dog and let them tell you. If you are using food, dry kibble biscuits may not cut it when your toddler is squealing three metres away. Save the high value treats for the hard stuff: cheese, cooked chicken, a bit of steak, Prime100 rolls, dog-safe fruit and veg like blueberries, banana or carrot. Keep a bit on hand, because what is exciting in a quiet lounge room is often not exciting enough at the front door when visitors arrive.
Asking for too much too soon. Break it down. Make it easy to get right.
Training only in easy places. Practise in real life, at your front door, in the hallway, with the kids home.
Forgetting management. Every time your dog practises a behaviour, they get better at it. So while you are teaching them what you would like instead, use gates, doors, leads and pens to stop the unwanted behaviour from happening at all.

Get these right and you are not just teaching a behaviour, you are building the relationship you rely on. That relationship is what keeps everyone safe when it counts.

What if you have not been doing these things?

Most people have not. That is not a failure, it is just what happens when nobody hands you this information at the same time they hand you a dog.

It is never too late. Not with an older dog, not with a dog who has been growled at for growling, not after years of habits you would do differently now. Dogs are learning every single day of their lives, and they are remarkably forgiving when we start listening to them. You do not have to undo the past. You just have to start where you are.

None of this is about being a perfect dog guardian. It’s about seeing the dog in front of you, understanding who they are, and giving them the best life you possibly can. Preventing problems is far easier than fixing them, and the best day to start is today.

If you would like help putting this into practice in your own home, get in touch for a private consultation, or see how we work with families here.

You can also enjoy the freedom of learning at your own pace with our online self-paced programs. There is one for every kind of dog guardian, whether you are expecting a baby, chasing a toddler, raising a puppy or simply want a happier dog. Each one is packed with easy-to-understand text, vibrant images, video demonstrations and animated videos, all crafted to make learning fun and memorable for the whole family. And because you get lifetime access, it is there to come back to whenever you need it, whether you want to rewatch something you have forgotten or a new challenge crops up as your child grows.

Frequently asked questions

What is a dog guardian?

A dog guardian is a person responsible for a dog’s care and wellbeing. We prefer the term over “owner” because it reflects a relationship built on meeting a dog’s needs and respecting them as an individual, rather than on ownership and control.

How do I know if my dog is uncomfortable?

Look for the quiet signals: turning away, lip licking, yawning, freezing, moving away, or showing the whites of the eyes. These usually appear well before a growl or a snap. If you see them, calmly end the interaction and give your dog space. Our guide to how dogs communicate walks through the signals with photos.

Should I punish my dog for growling?

No. A growl is a warning and a form of communication. Punishing it can teach a dog to skip the warning next time, which makes them less predictable and less safe, particularly around children. Work out what the growl is about and remove the pressure. Read more in my dog is growling at my child.

Is positive reinforcement training effective for all dogs?

Yes. Positive reinforcement works across breeds, ages and temperaments because it uses the way all animals learn. It builds trust and confidence rather than suppressing behaviour, which makes it especially suited to homes with babies and children.

What does it mean to respect a dog’s consent?

It means letting your dog choose whether to take part in an interaction, and letting them leave when they want to. It includes giving them their own space, checking in during patting, and never forcing them to tolerate handling or attention.

My dog is well behaved with my kids. Do I still need to worry?

A calm dog is not always a comfortable dog. Many dogs who are described as tolerant are actually coping quietly. Supervision, management and understanding body language protect both your dog and your children, even when everything looks fine.

How much exercise does my dog need?

It depends on breed, age and individual dog, and it is not only about distance. Mental enrichment, sniffing and breed-specific outlets often do more for behaviour than another lap of the block. Meeting the need matters more than the number of minutes.

Written by Mel Ritterman, qualified force-free dog trainer, licensed Family Paws Parent Educator and mum of three kids and two dogs. Cooper and Kids specialises in creating safe, happy and positive relationships between babies, kids and dogs.

Disclaimer: Cooper and Kids will not be liable for anything that happens to you, your dog or your children by following the advice and tips in this article. If you have real concerns about your dog or the safety of your children, please seek out a qualified professional to assess the situation as soon as possible.